(Source: rhaellatargaryen, via istalkpeopleallthetime)
(via istalkpeopleallthetime)
(Source: leilockheart, via canofdice)
Need. Taco. Bell.
I didn’t think I was going to like Girls State, BUT I love it. These little surprises just make me so happy inside.
But it might just be the fact that I made 3 really good friends and he’s been texting meeeeeeeeeeee. All I need is some better food and I would be the happiest girl in the world.
I feel….
Like a whore. And a total bad person. It just seems like I never get anything right. I ruin other people’s relationships, I’m a total pot head, I’ve pretty much denounced my religion, and I have casual sex all the time.
This stupid leadership camp I’m at is like bringing the real me into the light around all these good people. I found one girl that parties. Bleh. (Oh and sorry if you’ve messaged me… I’m gone all week soooooo I’ll get back to you Saturday)
This is an extremely awkward stage in my life. I’m just discovering who I am, and who I want to be. There’s just nothing that fits me perfect. I’m not good in relationships so I’ve taught my self to display no emotion, even towards my family. I hate my mother. I think I’m becoming a compulsive liar to my parents. I like sex too much. Marijuana is becoming an everyday occurrence. I am losing my drive for school.
This is just not what I planned for my life at all and somehow I ended up here. Fucking Caleb barely even talks to me, and honestly he was the only one who I was staying good for. Now I just have this “fuck it” attitude. Give me my friends, a blunt, and a car and I’m the happiest person alive. I just dread going home. I never want to be there. I just sit around and pretend like I am the perfect daughter, which I do pretty damn well by the way. It’s just beginning to be too much for me to balance everything. Oh and I’m pretty sure all of my Christian friends know I smoke all the time now. So at least I don’t have to pretend anymore.
I just need to escape everyone and start a totally new girl. I want to be the new girl that nobody knows.
Happyyy.
Yesterday was very successful. I went to that party and everything went so smooth. I made some new friends and we all smoked in the guy’s treehouse, which was pretty chill let me tell you. And then the party got busted. But that’s alright, we were about to leave anyways. So me and Jess and this guy all went to smoke. I definitely succeeded in having a good night.
Curious.
Sometimes I wish to be inside of your head. I want to know what you’re thinking when you send me those short messages. Do you think about me as much as I think about you? My mind wanders around in circles trying to figure you out. There’s just something that keeps pulling us back together. I can’t help but wander if only I could know your thoughts. If I could know what keeps you up late at night. If I could know you.
But then again, do i really want to see all the thoughts. Do I want to know what’s behind your stares in the hallway, or are some things just left better unsaid….
But then again, those smiles make me want to know more. Oh if I just knew what made you smile at me like that. The world would go round and it’d just be me and you. Left to go on adventures and continue loving for the rest of our lives.
But with this certainty I feel, there come doubts that I just can’t seem to push aside.
(via abirdsview)
I keep these songs on repeat
because they make me feel close to you
anything to feel close to you
‘til the next time I see you.
The violins and the piano
the guitars and the tambourine
they can fill the space in my heart
that aches of emptiness
when you’re not around.
Why are my lies always overlapping…. Maybe I should start making a list of all of them before I tell my parents anything else.
(Source: fly-away-above-the-horizon, via mid-winter-murders)
I want to do this…….
(Source: budinmyswisher)
